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I’ve blogged about how to love the planet, and how to love animals. Today let’s talk about how to love yourself. It can be so hard!
Really, I am supremely qualified to offer advice on this issue. Though I don’t love myself as much as I could, I certainly respect and honor myself more than I did 10 minutes ago, two weeks ago, a year ago, 5 years ago… Self-love is a practice, and a journey I am on every day. One of my desires is to get to a point in my life where I am totally accepting of myself, and in love with who I am. It’s not selfish, or vain; it’s the way we should be. When I don’t love myself, I don’t share my potential, my ideas, my gifts. It’s the same for us all.
Seven years ago I had reached my lowest point. I was clinically depressed, and filled with ultimate disdain for myself. I wanted to die every second of every single day. Antidepressants didn’t take away the dark feelings I had inside, but they did take away all of my motivation to kill myself. Still, I hurt myself in ways I have never been able to accept, or speak about. The only escape seemed to be sleep. Unfortunately, I couldn’t sleep my life away because I was in college.
I hated to look at myself and not recognize the sad person staring back. I felt trapped inside my mind.
At this time in my life, self-love was incomprehensible.
How did I pull myself out of that deep despair that had lasted in varying degrees for four whole years? I found a new hobby that I could do by myself—making clothes. I was able to be creative, I taught myself how to sew, I became my own model, and it made me feel a lot better. Also, when I got home for summer break, my mom had rescued two puppies (angels from heaven!). They, along with our other four dogs, brought true joy to my heart.
Back in college for the fall semester I continued making clothes. I still drank too much with friends, took on too many commitments, “self-medicated” to stay up all night, and was overall a mess. Yet, at this time I also discovered the magic of healthy food. Things were looking up for me. A transformation was underway.
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| Me today, jumping on my mini trampoline in the first shirt I ever made. |
Fast-forward all these years, I still feel depressed occasionally. I still talk down to myself, and too often feel inadequate. What’s different is that I’ve built a foundation from which I can show myself love, appreciation, and respect; I even allow myself to wallow in sadness when that’s what I need to feel.
I honor my creativity; I find joy in my passion for food; I find purpose in my desire to help people thrive with a plant-based diet; I have dreams and ambitions that are stronger than my fears; I find strength in an all-encompassing higher power that I see as pure love.
I don’t claim to be an expert on self-love, or depression, but I do have some tips for jumping on the the self-love journey. If you’re already on that path, then hopefully these ideas inspire you to celebrate your brilliance a little more.
Find what you love
We all have something we love to do that makes us feel alive. When I was depressed I found that making clothes and cooking were more fulfilling than anything I’d ever done before. I would work hard at a task, come up with creative solutions to different problems, and at the end I’d have a finished product to enjoy.
Identify that thing you love, and do it more often. Make room for it in your calendar, because you deserve that feeling it gives you.
Another thing I truly love is chocolate. It has a powerful ability to make me feel happier. I eat it often––don’t miss the mood-boosting recipe below!
Appreciate yourself
Every morning, or evening, write down 3 things that you appreciate about yourself. If that seems difficult, try writing them down from the perspective of another person. What would someone else say are your strengths? Doing this daily will help you cultivate appreciation for yourself.
This tip comes from my awesome life coach Jaclyn Costello, who has helped pull me out of some yucky feelings.
Give back
Giving to another is a great way to recognize all that you have to give. You can give a smile to a stranger, a home to a pet, money to a fabulous organization, or your time to a cause. Don’t expect to get anything back. You’ll get it anyway in the form of purpose and strength. Even if you feel like you have absolutely nothing to give, you do.
Love your body!
Loving your body is tied to loving your whole self. To show your body some love, start by being choosy about the foods you put in it. I’m convinced that changing my diet to plant-based played a role in pulling me out of depression. A whole foods, plant-based diet places less stress on your body. You’ll have more energy to do those things you love, give back, and appreciate yourself.
I’d love to hear back from you. Have you embarked on the journey of self love? What have been your successes, and difficulties? Would you recommend any other steps that we can take to love ourselves a little more?
Walnut Goji Berry Chocolate Truffles
You can make these amazing truffles two different ways: by making your own raw chocolate, or by melting store-bought chocolate. Both recipes are below.
Ingredients
- 1 cup raw walnuts
- ½ cup dates, Medjool dates work best, but any will work as long as they’re sticky
- ¼ cup goji berries
- 2 tbsp raw cacao powder, or cocoa powder
- a tiny pinch of sea salt
- 1 tsp minced ginger
Homemade chocolate coating:
- ¼ cup cacao butter
- ⅓ cup cacao powder
- 2 tbsp coconut nectar
- Store-bought chocolate coating:
- ½ cup vegan chocolate chips
Instructions
- Process until the ingredients have blended and become a medium-coarse meal. Scoop a heaping tablespoon of the mixture into the palm of your hand and form small balls. Place the formed balls onto a parchment paper-lined plate. This recipe makes 9-10 balls. Save some of the crumble to sprinkle on top of the truffles.
- In a glass or metal bowl over a saucepan of boiling water, melt the cacao butter. When melted, remove the bowl from the heat. Stir in the cacao powder and coconut nectar, and whisk until smooth. Drop the walnut goji balls into the chocolate and coat well. Remove them, and place them gently onto the parchment paper with a fork. Continue with the remaining balls. Sprinkle the remaining walnut goji crumble on top of each ball. Place in the refrigerator to firm for at least 2 hours.
- Melt the chocolate chips in a glass or metal bowl over boiling water, or in a glass bowl in the microwave. Drop the walnut goji balls into the chocolate and coat well. Remove them, and place them gently onto the parchment paper with a fork. Continue with the remaining balls. Sprinkle the remaining walnut goji crumble on top of each ball. Place in the refrigerator to firm for at least 2 hours.
Like this recipe? Rate and comment below!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
loved finding you!!!!!!!!!!
i choose love. looking forward to more.
Thanks so much Trinity! It’s something I definitely want to get back into one of these days. AND, vegan shoes!!! xo
The shirt is beautiful, Jenne! You should go into business – love the colors and pattern.
Thank you Micheline! You’re so write how it can seem taboo, but is so important. Big hugs to you : ) xo
Thank you too Alaina. Isn’t it amazing what food can do for us? Your comment means so much to me. xo
Thank you so much Cathy!! Love you xoxo
How BRAVE of you to share this with all of us! My husband also had many dark years, and it wasn’t until getting on a plant-based diet, and finding his passions and spirituality that he also got out of that chemical mess. Even now, whenever he feels it coming on, he switches it up to a mostly raw, vegan diet, and exercises outside. Like magic, the mood is lifted.
I’m so glad you came through that, and I’m glad you’ve chosen this path. We sure benefit!
Thank you Alaina! Amen to the power of plants, nature, and movement.
oh, and these truffles look AMAZING! What a great way to get your fruits and dessert at the same time.
Thanks Micheline! I made some similar to this yesterday. Topped with coconut shavings and Maldon salt!!!
Thanks for sharing your account!
I hate that it’s almost taboo to say that you love yourself- that it makes someone sound vain or narcissistic. I believe that loving yourself is the most important thing to success in this life. Not talent, skill, or money- self-confidence is it.
I love myself. There, I said it. 😉
You are an amazing woman, Jenné. It takes great courage to write so honestly, and your advice is wonderful. xoxo